


Gaying to the Mall

by HungryLibrary



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 'm so tired, F/F, Fluff, Future AU, Humor, and allura deserves to go to the mall so, gay space lesbians, god why is this so long, just cause i needed a reason for them to take the lions to the mall, look i just wanted allura and pidge to hang out and have fun and fall in love, two stones with one pidge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-20 02:42:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11911539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HungryLibrary/pseuds/HungryLibrary
Summary: Allura is sick of missing out on mall trips.Pidge has an Idea.Her idea involves space trash, making Coran suffer- and in the end, being just a little too much for Allura's gay heart to handle.





	Gaying to the Mall

Sometimes being the Princess was hard, and then sometimes being the Princess was complete clovenheifer shit.

This was one of shit times.

“Free day! Woo hoo!”

Lance ran another victory lap around the room before jumping up to give Hunk a double high five.

“Space mall here we come!” He crowed, dropping down and spinning to Pidge, arms spread as if about to go in for a hug.

Pidge narrowed her eyes at him. Lance turned smoothly and latched back onto Hunk instead.

Hunk grinned and returned the hug.

“This time I wanna see some stores like the one you and Pidge found.” He said. “If they sell old Earth games and give out Earth cows for free, maybe they’ve got some Earth spices too…”

“We’ll find some for you, buddy.” Lance promised. “Don’t worry.”

Allura watched them plan their mini-vacation and did her best not to sulk.

She was not going on this trip.

She was not _allowed_ to go on this trip, just as she hadn’t been allowed to go on the first one, and that was making it increasingly hard to listen to the other’s plans without wanting to lock them all in the training room for a few days.

“That place has got stuff from all over.” Lance went on, pitching his voice to be heard across the room. “I bet we’ll even find something boring enough for _Keith_ to enjoy.”

Keith cocked an eyebrow at him. “And for that, you can sit in the back of the shuttle.”

“What?!”

Dropping out of Hunk’s hug, Lance glared. “No I’m not! Shiro, tell him I’m not sitting in the back!”

“You won’t have to sit in the back of the shuttle.” Shiro told him soothingly. “None of us will.”

Pidge looked around at the five of them, clearly doubtful.

“What, are we gonna fly our Lions to the mall or something?” She asked. “Cause otherwise someone’s getting squished in the back again… speaking of which, I call shotgun.”

Lance made a noise of outrage.

“Actually you were correct the first time, Number Five!”

Puffing out his chest Coran addressed the room.

“You will be piloting the Lions this time around. Seeing Voltron in the flesh should help bolster the morale of this freed zone, and seeing the Paladins looking relaxed and confidant as they shop will put the public at ease.”

He paused and leveled them all with a stern look.

“Provided you don’t make a habit of getting chased by the local law enforcement.”

At this Shiro and Hunk looked contrite. Lance, Keith, and Pidge just shared a grin, pride clear on all their faces.

The sight made Allura ache.

They had all had such silly, harmless adventures last time. And they come back with loot that actually included a ‘cow’ and an ancient recreational battle simulator- both things that had come from their homeworld, no less. Allura wasn’t optimistic enough to hope to find Altean artifacts while window shopping. Still, it would be nice to just look around for a bit and have fun for once.

“Coran.” She tried one last time. “Are you absolutely sure I can’t-”

“Leave the Castle understaffed while our main fighting force takes a well-earned break before they turn on each other like a den of hungry Marmazdels?” Coran cut in cheerfully. “Certainly not!”

Allura flung up her hands in exasperation.

“But this is a freed zone, like you said! The whole reason they have a free day is because we feel we are _safe_ for once!”

“Situations can change.”

Coran twirled his mustache as he said it, likely meaning to give off an air of wisdom. All it actually did was get his finger tangled.

“Besides which, the King himself ordered me to watch over and advise you.” He tugged at the trapped finger. “And since I cannot leave the Castle at the moment.” He tugged harder, eyes crossing as he tried to get a look at the problem. “I am strongly advising you-” A yelp as he tugged too hard. “-to stay here where I can watch over you.”

Allura gave him a flat look.

By now there were tears of pain in the corners of Coran’s eyes and the entire room was watching them.

Lance was the only one who looked seriously sympathetic. The rest of Team Voltron’s reactions ranged from Shiro’s building second-hand frustration to Hunk’s honest bewilderment, with Keith’s mild amusement sitting somewhere in the middle.

Pidge, however, wasn’t looking at Coran at all.

Their gazes met briefly when Allura glanced over, only for Pidge to flinch and look hurriedly away.

Allura stared at her, puzzled by the reaction. She had the strong suspicion the Green Paladin had been watching her instead of the spectacle and hadn’t meant to be caught.

A whimper from Coran drew Allura back to the tragedy at hand.

“I don’t suppose anyone here happens to have a comb…?”

“Hold on, Coran old buddy.”

Lance whipped one out and hurried over. “I’ve got you covered.”

He, Hunk, and eventually Keith and Shiro as well, converged on Allura’s royal advisor, where they proceeded to argue among themselves on the best way to free a fully grown Altean from the clutches of his own unruly mustache.

Covering her face with one hand Allura sighed and turned away from the scene.

She loved Coran like a second father, she truly did. But just like with her father, there were times she felt she might start screaming in frustration just from being in the same room as him.

Such as times like these.

How did one even get _anything_ tangled in a mustache..?

She was so busy with that line of thought that she didn’t notice Pidge had sidled over until the shorter girl surreptitiously tapped her on the arm.

Allura looked around with a frown. “What-”

“Shhh.”

Pidge hushed out of the corner of her mouth, not looking at Allura.

Still frowning, though now more from confusion than annoyance, Allura quieted and waited.

After another moment spent making sure the others hadn’t noticed anything and that Coran was safely hidden from view by his helpers, Pidge glanced up at Allura and jerked her chin to the side.

Allura tilted her head, puzzled.

Pidge blew an irritated breath out through her nose, reminding Allura of an angry shoferiaks.

Taking a step to the side she started slowly easing her way towards the door, moving in carefully casual increments. 

After going a few feet she paused, glanced pointedly back at Allura, and jerked her chin to the side again, this time plainly indicating the door that lead off the bridge and into the rest of the Caslte ship.

Allura felt her eyes widen as a spark of hope lit in her chest.

Pidge wanted Allura to follow her. And she specifically didn’t want Coran to see them leave. The use of such secrecy against someone who had just forbid Allura from having fun could mean only one thing.

Pidge was absolutely up to no good.

And Pidge had a _Plan_.

That was more than enough to get Allura to slowly sidle after her and out the door.

-

“You want to see the space mall.”

Pidge said as they headed down the corridor towards the Green Lion’s hanger.

“And I don’t want to get beaten to a pulp when a cooped-up angry space princess takes her frustration out on us by locking the Gladiator’s difficulty on maximum.” She paused and shot Allura a dull glare. “ _Again._ ”

Allura flashed her a winning smile.

“You are the very spirit of generosity, Pidge Gunderson.”

Stepping into the hanger Allura leaned back and looked eagerly up at the towering form of the Green Lion.

“So, is the plan to escape while everyone else is distracted?” She guessed.

“I hope you have a plan for evading capture once we leave, since Coran is likely to nag at least Shiro into coming after us and possibly the others as well. Once we reach the mall I can blend into the crowd easily enough, but if they catch us on the way there…”   

Pidge held up her hands against the flow of words.

“Hold your yellmores, Princess. My plan’s a bit more sophisticated than that.”

“Oh?”

Allura looked at Pidge expectantly. Her look turned puzzled when Pidge turned away from the Green Lion and headed off to a messy corner of the hanger.

“Come on!” Pidge called over her shoulder. “I’ll need a hand with this!”

Feeling slightly apprehensive, Allura followed her.

“Pidge? Might I ask what exactly your plan is…?”

The wicked grin Pidge sent back to her made the hairs on the nap of Allura’s neck prickle.

“Trust me, Princess. You’re gonna _love_ it.”

-

“Found one!” Pidge crowed, reappearing with a clatter of metal.

Allura tried not to grimace as she watched the prodigal technician wade over. The collection of broken parts strewn across the hanger floor came up to Pidge’s waist and was still a point of confusion to Allura.

She was beginning to have some, not doubts exactly, more like legitimate questions about how Pidge’s plan was meant to play out.

This was in no small part due to the first step of said plan. So far it comprised of Pidge digging through a small mountain of space trash and then handing certain items off to Allura to carry- Something Allura wouldn’t mind, if only the growing pile in her arms looked even remotely useful.

Unfortunately none of it did.

Which made Pidge’s insistence otherwise all the more confusing. 

“And you’re _sure_ you need all this?”

She asked as an outdated optic cable was tossed over her shoulders, unraveling white filaments poking her cheek and tickling her right ear until it twitched irritably.

“Every bit of it.” Said Pidge as she dusted off her hands.

“You’ll see why soon enough. We only need something for the main chassis and then the real work can start.”

“But this is all just rubbish!”

Allura hefted the heap of odds and ends in her arms to illustrate.

“None of it is at all functional anymore. It’s completely useless, not even someone like you could turn this into anything even slightly operational or convincing, and certainly not in the time we have before everyone else leaves!”

“And that.” Pidge looked very smug as she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, making the lenses flash ominously. “Is why this is my brilliant plan and not yours. Unless you think you have a better one?”

Allura glowered.

She had the sneaking suspicion Pidge was enjoying this a little too much. 

But the Paladin wasn’t wrong. They both knew Allura’s plan before Pidge came along had to been to resign herself to _yet another_ set of boring vargas stuck aboard the Castle ship with Coran while team Voltron enjoyed their free day exploring the space mall without her.

Hence why she was desperate enough to be here, carrying around a growing pile of trash as Pidge gleefully refused to give a clear reason why.

“Very well.” Allura sighed, shifting her arms to make room for whatever Pidge dug up next. “Please continue with… whatever this is.”

Pidge rolled her eyes.

“As the Princess wishes.”

She dropped a quick, sarcastic bow before turning back to her search.

Watching as the Green Paladin dove back into the mountain of space trash, Allura wondered dully what her father, the former King of Altea, would think if he could see her now.

-

He would be ashamed of her, Allura decided a short while later. Utterly ashamed.

“I cannot believe _this_ is your plan.”

She said blankly as Pidge got to work assembling the simulacrum.

“And I cannot believe I am still going to go along with it.”

“You’re going along with it cause it’s gonna work.” Grunted Pidge as she hefted the chassis back into position.

“Now go fetch some spare clothes while I figure out how to keep the head from falling off again.”

-

“No look, it goes like this.”

Reaching over Allura undid the explosion of filaments Pidge had been wrestling with. With precise movements she gathered up the locks, twisted them together, and pinned them firmly in place.

“There.” Checking the bun one last time Allura nodded at her handiwork.

“That looks much more authentic, doesn’t it?”

Pidge looked stunned.

“How did you _do_ that?” She asked incredulously. “I spent ten straight minutes drawing myself diagrams for it and failing epically, and the you just-” She made a twirly motion with her hands, as if conjuring something from thin air. “Seriously, what the quiznak? How?”

It was Allura’s turn to be surprised.

“You had long hair before didn’t you? Didn’t you ever put it up in a bun?”

Pidge shook her head. “The most I ever did was tie it in a ponytail. Or let it hang loose if I wanted to be fancy. I mean, its hair. Why bother?”

Allura shrugged.

“Perhaps so you can make a convincing double of someone who does bother?”

“… I know you probably didn’t mean that to be a serious reason.” Pidge said after a moment. “But it actually feels like one to me. So, with that in mind- ”

Looking back at the double, Pidge stretched and cracked her knuckles, her expression that of someone about to enter the thick of battle.

“Show me what you did again? Just in case you’re not around next time I have to make a princess look-a-like.”

Allura beamed. “Certainly!”

In her eagerness to unpin the bun and pass on the art of hair dressing, she accidently jostled the double slightly. At her first touch the double’s head began to wobble.

“Oh no.” Pidge growled an aimed a warning finger at her creation. “No, don’t you dare do that again-”

There was a soft ‘thud’ as the head hit the floor.

Pidge screamed.

-

“No!”

Allura was incensed, outraged- She could feel blood pounding furiously in her head as she stood over the uncouth idiot who had dared insult her.

“That is _not_ what I sound like!”

Pidge didn’t even look up from her computer as she cleaned up the sound file.

“It really actually is.” She said as casually as if a wrathful alien princess was not looming over her at that very moment.

“I had a lot of time to practice while stuck in that trash nebula. My impression of you is accurate word-for-word and perfectly tailored to express your particular mix of grim determination, hot-blooded bravery, and occasional slight snootiness.”

“It is utterly inaccurate.” Allura seethed. “An intentional and exaggerated mockery that will fool no one!”

Now Pidge did look up at her, plainly amused.

“Did you honestly think that phrase was going to fool anyone anyway?”

With a click she replayed the file. It was obvious the recording was only meant for one thing, highlighting the gullibility of anyone who heard it, but Allura waved that detail aside.

“That isn’t the point!” She insisted.

“It simply doesn’t make any sense for _you_ to make the recording when the real me is _standing right here!_ ”

“Maybe not.” Pidge agreed. “But it _is_ funny.”

Alurra crossed her arms and glowered.

“Pidge…”

“Okay, okay!”

Chuckling Pidge open up a new recording and turned the computer towards Allura.

“Go do yours and we’ll compare the two.”           

Compare the two? Allura rolled her eyes as she knelt before the primitive human device. There was no comparing a mockery to the real thing.

“Ah-hem.”

Readying her voice, Allura straightened her posture and took a moment to collect herself.

She imagined herself on the bridge of the Castle as the Lions charged into a fleet of Galra battleships. In those situations she always felt tension and a thrill as she awaited the impeding fight, along with no small amount of pride to see Voltron heading into battle.

Pulling all those emotions from deep within Allura gathered them into a single deep breath.

She hit record.

“ _We must defeat Zarkon!_ ”

The recording stopped. Allura smiled a self-satisfied smile.

“Well?” She asked Pidge, chin already lifting in victory. “Can we agree that that is the superior version?”

Pidge said nothing, apparently deep in thought with her elbows braced on her knees and her face half hidden behind her interlaced hands. 

After a long moment of contemplation she finally spoke.

“Mine’s better.”

-

Pidge cackled from the safety of Green’s cockpit as Allura stood outside and filled the hanger with curses.

“Come down and face me, Pidge Gunderson of Earth, purveyor of lies!”

 _“No thanks.”_ Pidge called back, smug smile plain from her voice. _“I think I’m good up here.”_

“Then you are a coward as well as a liar!”

Pidge only laughed at that.

Green Lion picked this moment to cock her head as Allura, apparently quite confused.

“Traitor!” Shaking a fist Allura shouted up at the Guardian of the Forest. “I am your Princess! I am the reason you have a Paladin again and aren’t still stuck sleeping under a pile of weeds! How dare you harbor her from the hand of justice!”

The Guardian of the Forest was unaffected by Allura’s ranting. Her Paladin, however, turned out to be not so impervious.

A muffled thump momentarily interrupted Pidge’s cackling, almost as if she’d toppled out of her seat.

Allura grinned wickedly.

“Yeees!” She gloated.

“You can hide from me but you cannot escape! Vengeance! Is! Miiiiiine!”

To celebrate her victory Allura raised her hands and did a quick impromptu dance around her nearly complete double, whose head promptly fell off.

 _“Oh god.”_ She heard Pidge gasp between bursts of laughter. _“Oh my god Allura what the hell…”_

A cheerful rumble filled the hanger as Green joined in the merriment.

Listening to them, some part of Allura recognized she might be over doing it with her reaction and was probably making a fool of herself.

But the rest of her was having more fun than she’d had in ages and couldn’t be bothered to care.

-

Standing shoulder-to-shoulder (or rather shoulder-to-bicep due to how short Pidge still was) Princess and Paladin gazed critically down at their creation.

“She’s gonna need a name.” Pidge said finally.

Allura raised an eyebrow.

“It’s a pile of garbage, Pidge. It’s a pile of garbage shaped to look like me.”

Pidge raised an eyebrow right back.

“Sounds like you already have a name picked out.”

Puffing her chest out proudly Allura nodded. “I do, in fact. Shall I bestow it upon her?”

Pidge waved her on. “By all means, Princess.”

Stepping forward Allura lifted a hand and held it over the double’s head.

“Oh child of litter and rubbish.” She intoned grandly. “You who were born of desperation and time limits and brought into being for the sole purpose of aiding in my escape, I recognize the great service you are about to do for me and I hereby dub thee…”

Alllura lower her hand to anoint the double’s head. “…Trash Allura.”

“T-trash Allura.”

Pidge repeated, voice choked as she fought not to laugh.

A few ticks of solemn silence passed as they let the name sink in. Then Allura lifted her hand and stepped primly back.

Trash Allura’s head promptly tipped over and fell to the floor.

They stared down at the head. Out of the corner of her eye, Allura saw Pidge’s eye twitch.

“You know.” Allura said after a moment. “We _could_ just call that a feature.”

-

Doing a final run down of Black’s systems, Shiro opened the coms and checked in with everyone else.

“Okay team, we ready to head out?”

 _“Born ready!”_ Lance sounded like he might actually be bouncing in his seat with excitement. _“Come on Keith, last one to the space mall has to carry the other’s stuff- Hey wait…”_

There was a burst of static on Lance’s line.

“Lance?”

More static. Shiro frowned.

“Lance, come in. Can you hear me? Lance?”

There was a snicker from Keith.

_“Who wants to be he accidently shut his comm off without noticing? Pidge?”_

_“Nah.”_ Katie shot back, an amused drawl to her words. _“I’m putting my money on it being one of the Castle mice. Platt probably scared him into jumping on his seat and he hit his helmet on the ceiling, or something.”_

 _“Is no one else considering the possibility of an ambush?”_ Hunk chimed in.

 _“Because I’ve got my bayard out right now and guys, I_ really _don’t want to be the only one to survive the impending horror movie...”_

“Everyone cut the chatter.” Shiro broke in sternly.

“Even if it is just a comm malfunction, that’s still something we have to deal with before we can leave.”

He got a chorus of annoyed groans for that but the others did at least quieten down. Something was starting to come through the static.

“Lance?” Concern leaked into Shiro’s voice as he tried to hail his teammate. “Lance, answer me, what’s going on over there?” 

Finally he heard something. It was a jumble of garbled voices, one of which definitely seemed hostile.

_“-what the quiznak!? Get off-”_

_“-to make sure, considering your tendency to-”_

_“-not hiding her in here, okay!? Hey stop poking around in-”_

Frowning Shiro leaned over Black’s controls in a pointless attempt to hear better. The first speaker had been Lance, he was pretty sure, and the other one… had it been Coran?

And sure enough.

 _“My inspection is over!”_ Coran announced.

_“You do not appear to be attempting to sneak the Princess out in a futile bid to win her favor. I am now clearing you for launch!”_

Katie and Keith both let out startled barks of laughter, which in Katie’s case quickly devolved into a full on fit- Shiro could actually hear her pounding the armrest of Green’s seat as she all but cried with mirth. Hunk just sighed in relief. 

 _“Gee thanks for believing me.”_ Lance snapped irritably, voice coming in loud and clear again. _“Now get the hell out of my Lion, Coran!”_

_“Alright, alright, no need to get your armor in a twist…”_

Fighting a smile of his own Shiro cleared his throat.

“I guess we’re all ready to go then? Lance, is Coran safely out of the way?”

 _“Yeah.”_ Confirmed an audibly grumpy Lance.  

 _“Oh and by the way Coran, if you wanted to make sure the Princess wasn’t sneaking off ship you could have just, I don’t know, kept an eye on her yourself?”_ He said, voice dripping sarcasm. _“Like how you said you were ordered to by the king of freaking Altea?”_

Coran sighed.

 _“Unfortunately I haven’t seen the Princess since our little tiff on bridge.”_ He admitted ruefully.

_“And searching the entire Castle for her could take some time. It was far more easy to just check the Lion of the Paladin who has a history of giving Lion rides to pretty ladies, even when he obviously shouldn’t.”_

Katie let out a strangled snort.

 _“Ha ha, okay Pidge.”_ Quipped Lance. _“See if I help_ you _buy any games this time.”_

Shaking his head Shiro gave the order for launch and eased Black out of his hanger bay, laughter still washing over from Katie’s line.

-

Peeking into the rest area shortly thereafter, Coran was relieved to see searching for the Princess wouldn’t be so hard after all, even if she _was_ in something of a sorry state.

Allura was on one of the couches, sitting slumped with her back to the door as the Castle mice huddled consolingly in her lap.

“They’re off.” He told her tentatively. “And I have a few very engaging set of repairs lines up, if you’re interested…”

She didn’t answer.

Coran’s mustache drooped.

“I’ll just get them started, then.” He mumbled contritely as he eased away from the door.

-

Allura sat silently in Green’s cockpit, muscles tense as she peered around Pidge to watch as their goal drew closer with every passing tick.

She was waiting for them to get caught. At any moment she expected them to get a message from the Castle or an order from Shiro to turn around, but so far there had been nothing, just the usual banter between the five Paladins.

Banter Pidge was doing an admirable job keeping up with, her casual tone at odds with the rest of her body language.

Only a sliver of Pidge’s face was visible to Allura from this angle but it was enough to see the gleam of perspiration and notice how very little blinking Pidge seemed to be doing. Brown eyes were fixed determinedly on the approaching Space Mall, as if she could somehow speed up their arrival through pure force of will.    

Looking closer Allura wondered if brown was really the best way to describe Pidge’s eyes.

They were nowhere near as deep in color as say Hunk's, but also quite a bit lighter than the tawny shade of her hair. Maybe golden? Except golden made them sound metallic and cold, and that didn’t fit at all with the warmth Allura had seen today whenever she met Pidge’s gaze.

…which she was suddenly doing right now, thanks to Pidge shooting a look back at her.

 _It’s working_ , Pidge mouthed at Allura, incredulous. _Look!_

And she jerked her chin towards the view.

Allura tore her attention away just in time to see them come in for a landing, the Green Lion setting down a safe but discrete distance away from the others.

They had made it. 

Which meant the strange electric feeling thrumming through Allura’s veins must be from the thrill of success and probably had _nothing_ to do with the way Pidge’s eyes had shone, soft and bright, during their little shared glance.

It was probably a complete coincidence, one with likely no connection to how much Allura had laughed in the last few hours, or how being alone with Pidge for just this short while had left her feeling more herself than she had since the start of the war.

Probably. Correlation was not causation after all.

Yes, she told herself firmly, there was absolutely no reason to panic.

“Allura?”

Or at least there wasn’t until a quiet voice brought her back from her thoughts.

Blinking, Allura looked up at Pidge. The Green Paladin was on her feet and had taken off her helmet without Allura noticing, and she was now looking down at Allura with a faint worried crease between her brows.

Staring up at her, Allura very clearly felt her heart skip a beat.

_Oh no._

-

“I made snacks!” Coran announced from the doorway, putting as much cheer as possible into his voice.

“They come in five different flavors and are color-coded according to nutritional value and how many quintents their taste will linger on the back of your tongue!”

He held the tray up to better show off the alarmingly colored food. 

All four of the Castle mice peeked over Allura’s shoulder, alerted either by his words or by the scent of the snack. Probably the latter, if their furiously wiggling noses were anything to go by.

Coran took a hopeful step into the rest area.

“Would you like some, Princess?”

Allura didn’t answer.

She might have said something to the mice, however, because they immediately jumped to the floor and scurried over.

“What?” Coran asked as they waved their paws and squeaked at him. “Would you like some too?”

Obligingly he lowered the tray.

“There you go- Ah!”

And had it snatched from his grip by four very quick mice, who wasted no time carrying it back to the couch and setting it down on the floor besides Allura, where they fell upon the snacks with gusto.

Coran gaped at them.

“At least make sure you share them with her!”

One of the mice paused just long enough to place a single food morsel in Allura’s lap. Then they went back to gorging.

Huffing into his mustache Coran spun on his heel and stalked down the corridor.

Looked like he’d have to make _another_ batch of snacks if he wanted any for himself…

-

Back in the Green Lion, Allura was frozen in place as string of panicked thoughts echoed through her head.

_Oh no. Why her? Why now? Oh no no no…._

“We’re here.” Pidge said, gesturing vaguely. “I told Shiro and the others to go on ahead without me. Once they’re all out of sight it should be clear for us to leave too, so…”

Allura nodded automatically, mind still reeling. “So.” She repeated. “Yes.”

Pidge quirked an eyebrow at her. 

“So, maybe we should start getting ready?”

She nodded towards the twin packs sitting next to Allura on the floor, one holding Pidge’s old space pirate costume from her first visit to the mall and the other filled with whatever clothes Allura had thought might make her own camouflage more convincing.

Looking around at them, and thereby looking away from Pidge, seemed to help Allura’s brain kick back into focus.

And she quickly focused on pushed her ridiculous little crush into the deepest darkest part of her mind she could, where with any luck it wouldn’t be able to cause any more trouble.

 _Cannot think about it now._ She told herself sternly.

_Today has been wonderful and it hasn’t even really started yet, so you are NOT going to ruin things by turning into an embarrassing mess! I forbid it. Understand, heart? It is forbidden. I. Forbid. It._

Forcing a smile, Allura tried to cover her little slip up.

“Sorry.” She said, grabbing the packs as she stood and handing the larger one to Pidge. “Think I might have spaced out for a moment.”

Pidge accepted her pack, worried crease still in place as she looked at Allura.

“You sure you’re okay?” She sounded a bit awkward with voicing her own concern. “We can always go back if you’re having second thoughts.”

“No no!”

Allura shook her head vehemently.

“I’m just surprised the plan worked! Or, ah, that it worked so well anyway.”

Face heating up _(Stop it stop it stop it)_ she turned away and began digging through her pack, determined not to let Pidge see her blush.

“Your plans tend to work, one way or another, so that really isn’t a surprise. I suppose I’m just a bit shocked Coran would be so gullible. It’s not as if Trash Allura will stand up to any sort of close inspection.”

“Yeah, well.”

Allura heard a series of clicks as Pidge started prying off her armor.

“Between the mice’s help, him probably thinking you’re angry with him, and the fact that pretty much no one would expect someone to actually _use_ a trash double…”

“Refuge in audacity, hm?”

“Exactly.”

With a shaky grin _(And silent promise to never ever again imagine Pidge changing out of her armor)_ Allura got to work swapping out her own suit for her disguise.

Loose leggings tucked into high topped boots, a plain tunic that had belonged to her father and nearly reached Allura’s knees, and a coat once given to her by a Xzuvian diplomat- Combined together the clothes formed the perfect culture clash, one that, while no doubt very out of date after ten thousand years, she hoped would fit right in with the other space mall shoppers. 

Tugging nervously at the collar of her coat, Allura found herself hesitant to turn around.

She hadn’t picked these clothes with intention of impressing anyone.

That wasn’t stopping her from wondering what Pidge would think of them, though, which was especially silly considering Pidge was _Pidge_. If the garments didn’t have AI functions then Pidge probably wouldn’t even notice them- The thought made Allura smile, mainly because it was true.

Strange how the same thought that made her smile could also leave Allura feeling a little hollow.

_Enough, stop moping._

Giving her head a sharp shake she turned back to Pidge. “So how long do you think our trick will…”

She heard herself trail off into stunned silence.

Pidge looked… she looked…

Allura had to bite her lip to keep from snorting out loud. She tried looking away again, but her eyes kept getting drawn back no matter how hard she fought the temptation. 

“How long it’ll work?”

Pidge finished her question and then shrugged, utterly unaware of Allura’s struggle.

“I’d put it at another, ehhh, ten minutes until he figures it out?”

Her shrug had been made awkward thanks to how she was trying to tie an oversized black bandana around her head at the same time. Her gloves weren’t helping with the matter, their stylistically flared cuffs kept getting stuck whenever she went to tie a knot. Meanwhile every move prompted creaks and jingles from the egregious number of belts wrapped loosely around her waist.

She finished tying the bandana and looked up, hands already reaching for her mask and sunglasses.

Then she caught sight of Allura.

“…you’re trying not to laugh, aren’t you.”

“No I’m not.” Allura said, words distorted by the strain of trying not to laugh.

“I think it looks good on you.” She went on as her voice started to slip.

“Very convincing.” She added, because she needed a distraction if she was going to keep from breaking and talking was the only one she could think of. “Very- Ffffhmm- very space pirate.”

“Uh huh.”

Pidge didn’t look convinced.

“So you won’t completely break down in hysterics if I…”

Allura watched in horror as Pidge picked up the gasmask and sunglasses. Those ridiculously orange, ridiculously _pointy_ sunglasses. 

“… do this?”

And she put them on.

Allura never stood a chance.

Back to the floor she went, this time clutching her sides as she laughed and laughed and Pidge stood with crossed arms and her ragged cape and her badly fitting shorts and her bandaged legs and her _two sets_ of rolled up sleeves under a vest that was clearly a coat with _its_ sleeves torn _off_ \- And then the gasmask with the gaudy sunglass perched on top- 

“Thought so.” She heard Pidge say smugly from somewhere overhead.

-

“I am not pouting.” Coran told his reflection.

“It’s perfectly natural for teens to become more independent and self-sufficient as they mature. She wants her space. There is no reason to feel left out about that. None what so ever.”

He shared a firm nod with his mirror image.

Then he went back to polishing the front of an already spotless cryo pod, pouting as he worked.

-

Allura regained her composure eventually, no thanks to Pidge who took a different dramatic pose each time Allura started calming down and starting the whole thing over again.

“Sorry.” She chuckled, dabbing at her eyes.

“It actually is rather impressive looking, just… Coran had a hand in picking it out didn’t he?”

“Yep.”

Reaching down Pidge helped pull Allura back to her to feet.

“And when we get back I’m gonna tell him _exactly_ what reaction you had to it.”

Allura snorted and went about straightening her own clothes. “Make sure you’re recording when you do.”

Freeing her hair from its bun she shook it loose and ran a hand through it, wondering if she should try something new or just leave it. 

Her hands stilled suddenly.

For the third time today, Allura felt Pidge’s eyes on her, and felt her traitorous heart skip a beat again.

_I quiznaking hate crushes._

Taking a quick breath she looked up as casually as she could.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Pidge mumbled, shoving her hands into the pockets of her shorts, expression hidden behind her mask and glasses.

“That stuff looks good on you, though. Really good. People are going to think I’m kidnapping you or something.”

Pidge didn’t sound seriously worried about the possibility. Instead she sounded awkward once more, embarrassed in a way that clearly said she wasn’t used to giving these kind of compliments.

But she was giving one to Allura anyway.

Allura was beaming. She knew it and could do absolutely nothing about it.

“ _Or._ ” She said pointedly. “They’ll think I have a very intimidating bodyguard and we won’t have to worry about being bothered while we shop!”

Pidge scoffed.

“You? With a bodyguard? A bodyguard so short you’d have to _bend down_ to tuck under your _chin?_ ”

Chuckling to herself Pidge led the way down Green’s ramp, shaking her head as she went.

Allura followed, trying and failing not to imagine what it would be like to tuck Pidge under chin. That line of thought made her wonder if Pidge’s hair was as fluffy as it looked, which then reminded her of something Pidge had mentioned back during the creation of Trash Allura.

On a whim- and with a slightly sappy smile- Allura reached back to gather her hair, pulling it up into high ponytail. 

_And with that, I am officially hopeless._

-

Back on the Castle ship Coran was watching the Princess and frowning in mild concern.

It had been over half a varga since the Paladins left and as far as he could tell she hadn’t moved an inch from the position he’d first found her in. Such abject dejection was out of character for her, but understandable. Coran could well remember his own youth and how furious he would have been to be cooped up in some dusty old castle while his friends went off exploring.

Yes, all in all he felt the Princess was handling this with very good grace, and more than deserved a little commiseration. And she would get it, whether she wanted it or not.

With that in mind Coran slipped into the room and joined her on the couch.

“Now now, Princess.”

He said bracingly as he patted her on the shoulder, ignoring the protests of the mice.

“You may have been left behind this time, but there will be plenty of other chances to explore the modern galaxy, I promise you. ”

Allura’s head wobbled in what Coran took to be a reluctant nod of agreement. 

“That’s the spirit!”

He gave her shoulder another, even more energetic pat, and beamed from beneath his mustache.

“Why don’t we go over all the Castle supplies together? And after that you can help me with some de-bugging, perhaps reorganize some of our old logs, run a check on all the general systems-”

Allura’s head gave another wobbly nod.

A very wobbly nod.

So wobbly in fact that Allura’s head overbalanced on her shoulders and fell to the floor with a soft ‘thud’.

Coran froze.

Pupils shrinking, he looked slowly from the dislodged head to Allura’s body, which didn’t seem at all bothered by its sudden loss and seemed to have bits of _scrap metal_ peeking out from the collar of her dress.

The dislodged head took this moment to pip up.

_“We must defeat Zarkon!”_

The tinny recorded voice rang out through the room, an uncanny if exaggerated imitation of Allura’s favored phrase.

Coran felt his mustache bristle.

The phrase wasn’t the only thing familiar. Coran _knew_ that voice. 

Face turning red, he opened a com channel and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself.

It didn’t work.

“ _NUMBER FIIIIIIVE!_ ”

-

Pidge smirked as she muted Coran’s litany of threats and warnings.

 “Called it. Almost exactly ten minutes.”

“Impressive.” Allura wasn’t sure if she should congratulate Pidge or offer condolences. “You do realize he’s going to have you scrubbing cryo pods until the end of war for this?”

“Pfft. He’ll have to catch me first.”

Pidge lifted the screen slightly so they both fit in the view finder. “Wanna pose for him?”

Ducking down a little Allura flashed her best, most cheery smile as Pidge twiddled her fingers at Coran.

Coran’s eyes bulged.

He raised a hand and started making a gesture, one Allura was fairly sure wouldn’t be a friendly wave goodbye, only to be cut off as Pidge closed the link.

“Alright.” Pidge looked down the main mall thoroughfare. “First item on today’s list?”

 _You_ , Allura thought.

“Sparklies.” She said instead, and deciding that mall crowds were more than enough of an excuse _(and that she was shameless enough to use excuses)_ , she reached down and took Pidge’s hand before leading the way to the first shop.

Heart thundering pleasantly and cheeks heating up, Allura didn’t dare look back at Pidge just then.

If she had she might have noticed how the Green Paladin staggered dazedly as she followed, or the fact that the few visible bits of Pidge’s face had flushed bright pink.

-

 _Fuck,_ Pidge thought to herself.

Allura was holding her hand and all of Pidge’s systems were going into overdrive trying to process her own reaction to this.

Her stomach was doing summersaults, a nervous sweat had broken out over every inch of her skin, and the muscles in her arm wanted nothing more than to return Allura’s grip on her hand and never let go. Despite the inner turmoil, the overall feeling was definitely a good one.

In the end the data was conclusive. Her theory had been proven correct.

_I have a crush on the freaking princess._

That answer led to a question _(How am I going to survive this trip!?)_ and a secondary theory, namely-

_If I turn myself in for cryo pod scrubbing duty later, I wonder if I could I trick Coran into doing a monologue on Altean romance and flirting protocols…_


End file.
